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Low Self-Esteem: Self Esteem Counselling

Understanding and Overcoming Low Self-Esteem

Feel like you have low self esteem? Would you like to grow your self worth? Consider attending counselling with Head Start Counselling in Geelong to start your journey towards a confident and happy you.


Self-esteem is a crucial part of human psychology, particularly how it shapes how we perceive and value ourselves. While occasional self-criticism is common, a persistent negative self-perception might signify low self-esteem. 


Symptoms of Low Self-Esteem


Here are ten common symptoms of low self-esteem:


  1. Heavy self-criticism and dissatisfaction: Excessive self-critique and persistent dissatisfaction with oneself.
  2. Hypersensitivity to criticism: Being overly sensitive to criticism, often reacting with resentment and feeling attacked.
  3. Chronic indecision and fear of mistakes: Regularly experiencing indecisiveness and an exaggerated fear of making mistakes.
  4. Excessive desire to please: An overwhelming need to please others, often at the cost of personal well-being or desires.
  5. Perfectionism: Setting unattainable standards and feeling frustrated or distressed when perfection isn't achieved.
  6. Neurotic guilt: Dwelling on past mistakes and exaggerating their significance, leading to excessive guilt.
  7. General defensiveness and irritability: Displaying defensiveness and irritability without clear provocation.
  8. Pessimism and negative outlook: Tending to view situations and events with a negative perspective.
  9. Feelings of envy or resentment: Experiencing jealousy or resentment towards others.
  10. Viewing setbacks as permanent: Seeing temporary setbacks as enduring and intolerable conditions, lacking belief in change or improvement.


The Origins of Low Self-Esteem


Low self-esteem can emerge from diverse sources. 


  • Childhood experiences, such as bullying or neglect, often sow the seeds of negative core beliefs. 
  • Unhealthy societal ideals, especially prevalent on social media, may lead teenagers, particularly young girls, to base their self-worth on superficial factors like appearance. 
  • Stressful life events, such as relationship issues or illness, can also chip away at self-esteem.


Types of Self-Esteem:


  1. High self-esteem characterises individuals who firmly uphold their values and judgments, feel secure in modifying beliefs based on experiences, and live in the present without excessive worry about the past or future. They trust their problem-solving abilities, embrace equality with others, and value themselves as interesting and valuable individuals. High self-esteem individuals resist manipulation, respect social norms, and express discontent without belittling themselves or others.
  2. Defensive high self-esteem individuals rely on external validation and can be sensitive to criticism, reacting negatively to any perceived threat to their self-worth. They seek constant positive feedback and may display boastful or aggressive behaviour when their self-worth is questioned.
  3. Implicit and explicit self-esteem represent different modes of self-evaluation, with implicit self-esteem operating on a more unconscious level while explicit self-esteem involves conscious reflection. However, the reliability of implicit measures in reliably assessing self-esteem remains debated due to weak correlations with explicit self-esteem and inconsistent measures among themselves. 


Understanding these nuanced forms of self-esteem enables a deeper comprehension of how individuals perceive and value themselves in diverse contexts.


Who Might Experience It


Individuals with low self-esteem tend to be overly critical of themselves, seeking validation externally and often attributing their successes to luck rather than their capabilities. They might struggle with forming healthy relationships, avoiding judgment, and showing self-care. Adolescents with low self-esteem might have body image issues, or engage in premature sexual activities.


How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem:


  • Overcoming low self-esteem involves recognising personal strengths, celebrating achievements (big or small), challenging negative thoughts, embracing imperfections, and engaging in activities one enjoys. 
  • Surrounding oneself with supportive individuals, volunteering, exercising, and setting achievable goals can also aid in the journey towards higher self-esteem.
  • Individuals aiming to improve their self-esteem should focus on positive self-talk, challenge negative beliefs, avoid comparisons, acknowledge their positive attributes, and let go of past hurts. 
  • Practising self-love, forgiveness, and seeking professional help through therapy are also important steps towards higher self-esteem.


How Counselling Can Help


Therapists play a crucial role in identifying patterns contributing to low self-esteem. They guide individuals in understanding the root causes and provide strategies to reframe thought patterns. Cognitive restructuring, developing new coping mechanisms, and fostering self-compassion are key aspects of therapy aiding in self-esteem enhancement.

Low Self-Esteem

View our Resources page for assessment tools, recommended books and apps + more.

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