Subjugation

Often controlled or dominated by others? Partner controlling you? Is someone imposing authority or power over you. Subjugation therapy can help.

Subjugation involves sacrificing one's own needs, desires, and beliefs to accommodate and please others, often at the expense of personal well-being. It manifests as a tendency to prioritise others' needs over one's own, feeling guilty for asserting personal priorities, and an inability to say no due to a fear of rejection or anger.

Contributors to subjugation

Subjugation can stem from various factors:

• Feeling responsible for others' happiness and well-being
• Seeking approval and validation from others
• Fear of confrontation or rejection
• Guilt for prioritising personal needs
• Being raised in environments where expressing personal opinions or needs was discouraged

Examples of Subjugation:

• Workplace Subjugation: Working extra hours, avoiding disagreements, and accommodating excessive demands out of fear of rejection or to gain acceptance.
• Personal Relationships: Constantly putting others' needs before one's own in relationships, feeling guilty for asserting personal desires, and suppressing opinions to avoid conflict.
• Family Dynamics: Taking on excessive responsibilities at home, neglecting personal needs to cater to family members, and feeling obligated to maintain harmony at the cost of personal happiness.

Example questions to Test for Subjugation:

• Q. Do you often sacrifice your needs for the sake of others?
• Q. How comfortable are you with expressing your own needs and opinions?
• Q. Do you feel guilty when prioritising yourself over others?
• Q. Are you prone to seeking approval and validation from others?
• Q. How often do you avoid confrontation or disagreements to please others?

Symptoms of Subjugation:

• Behavioural: Eager to please, avoiding conflict, taking on excessive responsibilities.
• Cognitive: Feeling guilty for asserting personal needs, seeking constant approval, feeling responsible for others' happiness.
• Physical: Stress-related symptoms, fatigue, and anxiety.
• Emotional: Resentment, frustration, and a sense of being controlled or manipulated.

Impact on Living

Subjugation can lead to exhaustion, emotional distress, strained relationships, and a loss of personal identity and fulfilment. It may cause a perpetual cycle of sacrificing personal needs for the sake of others, leading to dissatisfaction and emotional turmoil.

Overcoming Subjugation:

• Assertiveness: Learn to express needs and opinions confidently.
• Self-reflection: Understand personal needs and boundaries.
• Setting boundaries: Practice saying no when necessary.
• Seeking support: Engage in counselling or therapy to address underlying causes and learn healthy coping mechanisms.

How Counselling Can Help

Counselling, particularly schema therapy, can aid in identifying and addressing the underlying beliefs and behaviours contributing to subjugation. Through therapy, individuals can learn to assert boundaries, develop healthy self-perception, and break free from the cycle of subjugation.

By recognising the signs, understanding the causes, and seeking appropriate support, individuals can gradually overcome subjugation, leading to a more balanced and fulfilling life.